WHY EUSTRESSIN'?: WHIT FRYE
HEY WHIT, WHY EUSTRESSIN’?
WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING/ HOW LONG?
I am a licensed attorney in the State of North Carolina and began practicing (in a sense) in 2011. So, I've been a lawyer for almost a decade now. However, I've always seen myself as more of an advocate and now work for a sports entity in Colorado Springs, Colorado as their SafeSport Director. SafeSport is a program and organization that is designed to keep athletes safe from all forms of abuse and misconduct. In my role, I deal with policy creation, enforcement, compliance, as well as counselor and advocate among other things.
DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT YOUR MENTAL HEALTH IN YOUR PROFESSION?
I think about mental health often in my profession. As an attorney, we are required to have a certain number of Continuing Legal Education (CLE) credits each year. Of the hours that we are required to participate and log, mental health and substance abuse education are required. I've often said that no one seeks an attorney on the best of their life, so often the subject matter that we deal is quite heavy and we are charged to keep things that can often be quite disturbing confidential. Additionally, in my role as SafeSport Director, I often deal with issues surrounding sexual abuse, physical abuse, and other forms of misconduct on a daily basis. I try to be aware of compassion fatigue as well as the effect that the subject-matter I am forced to deal with as a condition of my profession can be quite taxing. In law school and in preparation for the bar, I was very aware of the mental and psychosomatic response associated with the stress to perform and do well and often told my "story" to my mentees, as well as students who visited my office hours when I was a legal professor.
WHAT UNIQUE CHALLENGES DO YOU ENCOUNTER SPECIFICALLY FOR YOUR JOB THAT HAS AN IMPACT ON YOUR MENTAL HEALTH THAT OTHERS MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT?
As an attorney, you're paid to get things right. In law school, they often talk about there being no "right" answer, but the pressure to do things well is constant. Once you become an attorney, you understand that the outcome of your choices and decisions has a direct effect on the liberty, and sometimes the life, of someone else. The law is not an exact science, but your clients expect a result that is akin to simple math. When someone's life, livelihood, or money is on the line, they often have an idea of how things should go. As an attorney, you're supposed to counsel them in the law and advocate on their behalf. However, there is a propensity for clients and their friends and family to diminish the role and expertise of the attorney to one that is as simple as an episode of Judge Judy or Law & Order, cases that can be solved in 30 minutes. It can be a challenge to manage the emotions, ideas, and comprehension of those with whom you interact. Lots of people do not have good thoughts about attorneys, so confronting the idea that lawyers are liars and self-interested money-hungry sharks, is one that we have to overcome. A line from my favorite movie says, "Time is a precious thing, never waste it." The time it takes to find the solution to your problem is not a short one. Although the answer might seem simple the time it takes to arrive at the question is not. For an attorney, their time is their money; however, most join the profession because they have a desire to help. So friends, family, church members asking for free advice can put us in an awkward position. While we have a desire to help you, the time it takes to find the answer to your question is invaluable time for which you are not paying. While monetary gain is not the sole reason for joining the profession, it is indeed our job. There have been so many times where I've seen people ask my dad to represent them in court and then not pay him. As an attorney, we are not allowed to simply quit our client, in some instances we have to ask for permission and that permission can be denied. Imagine having to zealously advocate for someone who does not believe that they should pay you. It's taxing! In the role I am in now, I am in-charge of our background screening program as well as our overall SafeSport Program. As a woman of color, I often feel as I have a duty to ensure that practices are not unduly restrictive or have a disproportionate effect on women or people of color. I think shouldering that responsibility can be especially taxing, and then having to provide your opinion and suggestions to those who sit in a position of authority with a vantage point shrouded in privilege. There can be blows to your confidence, ability to communicate clearly, and the ability to feel as though you are truly being effective.
WHEN DID YOU REALIZE THAT YOU SHOULD ALSO CONSIDER YOUR MENTAL HEALTH WHEN TAKING ON DAY-TO-DAY ACTIVITIES?
I first learned about mental health at church when I was about 12 or 13. My pastor said something that has stuck with me forever, he said, "your brain can get sick just like any other part of your body." I didn't really understand the impact those words would have until I entered law school. My study partner started to recognize certain patterns in my behavior and ability to focus and asked had I ever been diagnosed with ADHD. I told him no, but scheduled an appointment with a medical professional to get an assessment. I was then diagnosed with ADHD and provided tools and strategies that helped to manage my symptoms and allowed me to truly thrive. During the bar, while I laugh now, I had an episode at Panera bread where I cried in line because they had run out of chicken salad. I realized how much the weight and stress of bar prep had on me when I had such a visceral response to a pretty mundane occurrence. I was able to acknowledge that anxiety and depression had been a significant part of my life but one that I failed to truly recognize or address. I then took account of the signs and triggers that affected me and am better able to recognize when I'm in a state that isn't particularly productive or conducive to me being healthy, mentally.
HOW DO YOU MANAGE THOSE STRESSORS ON A DAY-TO-DAY BASIS?
Being a lawyer does not require much creativity, so I find things that allow me to tap into that creative side. I love to cook and write. I cannot count the number of notebooks that I have. I use them to help manage some of the symptoms surrounding my ADHD diagnosis, but also to write down my thoughts and feelings. I am a Christian and use writing as a form of prayer, and I find that to be helpful and a way to look back on my progress both mentally and as an individual. While I often have difficulty articulating my feelings, I've found that cultivating places and relationships where I feel safe to be myself helps to manage my daily stressors. I think identifying what friends or family members that I can trust with some or all of my feelings, those who provide advice, and those who just listen have been quite important. When I speak of cultivating safe spaces, I don't speak figuratively. My home is a place where I feel comfortable and the things that surround me are reflections of that. My couch is a bright color, it's quite comfy, and it is great for taking naps. I do not watch television in my bedroom because I feel that space is for sleeping and rest. I also surround myself with good scents. I have candles that make me feel calm, and certain smells are restricted to certain areas. I also wear perfume daily, even if I'm not going to see anyone. They say scent is the closest sense tied to memory, and the scents that evoke the best or pleasant memories or thoughts, are those that I use often.
HOW DOES BEING MENTALLY HEALTHY HELP IN YOUR FIELD OF WORK OR ON THE JOB?
Being mentally healthy helps you to be alert, effective, competent, and compassionate. I believe the legal profession is one that requires a certain level of empathy, and if you are not willing to extend that gift to yourself it is doubly hard to provide effective counsel to someone else. For me, it allows me to stay organized but also operate with a modicum of understanding free from annoyance. As I mentioned earlier, you are not encountering individuals on their best day as an attorney, so maintaining your composure and remembering who you're representing and why it is important. If you are not mentally healthy, one or all of those things previously mentioned will fall by the wayside, rendering you ineffective. A lawyer can lose their license for providing ineffective counsel to ignoring the rules of professional responsibility, your livelihood is literally at stake when you fail to protect your mental wellness.
WHAT DOES EUSTRESS LOOK LIKE FOR YOU AT WORK? AT HOME/AWAY FROM WORK?
I think good stress at work is stress that pushes me to do better, but not at the expense of my health or sanity. I think I have an internal drive, but sometimes I don't know how to shut it off. I think good stress allows you to see the finish line, but not run on empty. Eustress is a day filled with productivity but an understanding of what is at stake.
WHAT IS SOMETHING THAT YOU WOULD TELL SOMEONE JUST STARTING IN YOUR PROFESSION OR A YOUNG PERSON WHO ASPIRES TO BE THE PROFESSIONAL THAT YOU ARE?
To a young person or someone entering the profession, I would say be cognizant of your stressors and triggers and take time for yourself. You cannot be effective if you are burnt out. Self-preservation my sound selfish and an aspiration that others might tell you to shun. However, it is necessary! You are your most important client and your duty to counsel and represent others cannot trump the duty you owe to yourself.
ANY OTHER INFORMATION YOU WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW ABOUT YOU AND WHAT YOU'RE UP TO?
Nope.
HOW CAN PEOPLE CONTACT YOU FOR MORE INFORMATION?
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